Tuesday, May 1, 2012
update and serious subject
first let me say we love it here!! sure will miss it!! I think we are ready to go home now tho and get Morgan on an actual schedule. Yesterday was awesome we went to the safari park!!!!! Patrick and I fed a giraffe and Morgan flipped when a giraffe came so close.....awwwww today we are going back to the island and this afternoon is the group pictures and tonight the dinner cruise. so exciting!!! ok, now to the serious topic. We are so happy that Morgan has adjusted to us and bonded with us so quickly, she smiles 99% of the time, and is doing really well. The one thing we have not shared much about, as we were trying to see a pattern first, is night time. We have noticed after someone else holds her other then Patrick or myself, she does not go down for bedtime well. She cries a lot and fights sleep, and I have heard things about this from others that this does and could happen.....and for the best interest in Morgan's continued bonding and feeling safe with us, we have come to the conclusion, that we will have to change the original plan of others holding her right away with us standing there too...that is not working well and so the new plan is to have just Patrick or I hold her for awhile when we return home.....we are not sure how long that will take, but we will need to play it by ear. And us still do all the changing and feeding.......we know that everyone supports our decsion, and we thank you for that, as we know it is hard for you guys to hear....but for the best of Morgan, we need to change to just us holding her. You are more then welcome to get close to her, and touch her hands and face and stuff, while we are holding her....just not pick her up. Ok, now that the serious part of the blog is complete, we are off to breakfast ina bit. We love you all and will see you soon! Be sure to track our flight home, so you know if we are on time or not. Looking forward to seeing you at the airport still!
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I am glad that everything is go so well!!! As for your serious issue I am sure she is very nervous around new people. I mean her whole world got flipped upside down and therefore you are the only ones that have been feeding her, playing with her, changing her, comforting her, ect. So I think everything that she and you are going through is completely normal. My one suggestion would be to take your cues from her and either offer for her to go to people or let her crawl around and see if she shows interest by going up to people and acting like she wants to be picked up. I would say that the first couple weeks I would just make sure you are holding her when she meets someone new and only after you have settled into a good routine then take the suggestions above. The main thing is that Morgan has to feel that she is safe and loved. I know she feels loved but considering she was cared for by someone else and then given to a stranger she could feel like that will happen again. I think you are making a good choice by waiting to let people hold her. Besides you are going to have a rough enough time getting into a good schedule back here in the states due to the time change. I have heard that it can take just a couple weeks to get children to get back into their old routine after traveling long distances with many hours in time change. I wish you all the luck!!! I am so happy for you!!!
ReplyDeleteHi-- a fellow adoptive mom to two here. Thank you for sharing your blog. I really enjoy following adoption trips.
ReplyDeleteI think your decision is sound. When we adopted our first daughter she had never seen men before and was completely freaked out by DH. We didn't let anyone other than one of us hold her, feed her, bathe her, or change her diaper until she showed that she had bonded with DH. It took about three months-- this rule also applied to my two stepkids who were tweens at the time. They (and other family members) could play with her but not hold her or do any care-taking activities. With our second daughter-- she wanted nothing to do with me for quite some time and DH and I employed the same rule. She came around after a couple of months. Bonding with our little ones whom we adopt is different. Many of these little ones have not had a consistent caregiver and they don't understand or even expect the kind of stability that comes with having a mommy and daddy to care for them. The rule was difficult for some, but in the long run it has really worked out well for our daughters and our family.
Best,
One thing I forgot to mention-- our youngest- she would go up to people and indicate that she wanted to be picked up and sit on their lap. She would go to pretty much anyone and act this way, which wasn't healthy, so I don't think you can solely go by their cues early on. You are her parents, go with what you feel is right for her.
ReplyDelete(((Hugs)))